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Question

09 Apr 2003

HAVING TO SUPPORT BOTH, IS IT FAIR?<br><br>SUPPORTING BOTH, IS IT FAIR?
i have a boyfriend i dearly love and he's got two kids, one of them stays with my bf's mother and she is only 2, i try my level best to do everything for her, and at the same time my bf doesn't appreciate, he's employed and he expects me to do everything in the house, pay the rent, buy groceries, the works.

What i hate the most is that it's as though i'm paying back for everything that he did for me, when i wasn't working, his sisters also take advantage of me, asking me for money because they have this thing in their minds that i spend their brother's money, it's not like that, i've always had a mother i could go to if i needed anything, why must i be treated in such way. Do i really deserve all of this.

I feel I can't take it anymore, we've been staying together for 5 months and not even once has he paid the rent.

PLEASE HELP
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Flow, this does sound like exploitation. But ho seriously have you actually tried to discuss this with him ? As for the sisters, try Mr Ronald Reagan's approach to drugs - Just Say No. They don't deserve a penny from you, but the more you give, the more they'll expect.
It seems to me that many people move into a living-together arrangement, without actually ever sitting down and discussing the terms and conditions, and mutual expectations --- then silently wait for the other person to live up to expectations that haven't actually been expressed. Mind-reading is actually a very rare skill. So he seems to expect you to pay for everything now, without actually saying so ; and you expect him to be fair --- without actually saying so. How about some re-negotiation of the unwritten treaty ?
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