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14 Sep 2007

HELP
I am 24 years and me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 and a half years now. To be honest the 1st year was the best year for the both of us. Since the beginning of last year things are just so bad between the two of us, and it is sad because we were so happy our first year together. We were the couple that everybody in our community doubted. People said things like" he is so goodlooking, what is he doing with her". I was called a lot of things including black, ugly & fat. Despite all of this we were happy. When people got used to the idea that we are together things just started to get worse between us. We use to go out together and laugh and joke, but these days we can't be in a conversation without fighting. We don't even laugh together anymore. We blame each other. From my side: He has done a lot to me, he said the most awfull and hurtful things to me and somehow I cannot forget it. I told him that i forgave him, but i cannot get those awaful words out of my mind. It really scarred me. But I just cannot let him go. These days on weekends he comes to me drunk even though he knows that i don't like that. He rather dissapoint me then his friends. He would tell me that his comming and i would wait for him, only to find out the next day (from him) that he was with friends. The one that takes the cake for me is the fact that we kiss and make up today, tommorrow he does the same thing again. This happens each and every time. He claims its because when he comes around I'm always "dikbek" . I love him so much and the thought of loosing him scares me. But tell me am i to intense, to committed. To me he is the best, but he keeps dissapointing me. He also says i always want things to be my way, is that perhaps one of the reasons he does what he does. I always try my best to never dissipaoint him in any way, but lately i changed because i feel that it is unfair towards myself to always try and keep him happy when he keeps dissapointing me.

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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You may love him a lot, but he is not at all behaving like "the bast". COuld he agree to visit a relationship counsellor with you ? If not, then he really doesn't want these problems fixed, and you'd then better see a counsellor for yourself, and prepare to move on.
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