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12 Sep 2007

How do I decide?
I have huge problems..please help..please don't judge and try to understand.

I was in an on-off relationship for two years. This is the fifth time we've broken up and it's been over for two months now. My ex is trying everything he can to get me back. Proposing, promising to change. He's even seeing a psycologist to work on his impulses and emotions.

I have met someone else and have very sincere feelings for this other person. He is exactly what I have been looking for in a man and without even having to fight for changes to be made.

I feel so sorry for the ex, he is really trying his best to be what I need and to have me back in his life.

I'm torn between two men, both wonderful in their own ways. I don't know how to decide. On the one hand I have a loving guy who is exactly what I want and on the other I have a guy who I have history with and who is willing to make changes.

On the one hand I have a guy who was in a long term relationship that ended a year ago and still has some issues and on the other I have a guy who I have a history with that treated me badly.

It's the known against the unknown..both have their positives and negatives.

Both have families that I adore and both have a healthy outlook on life and will be very successful someday. (I know I should not compare - but I don't know what else to do..)

I don't know how to decide this????!!!

Is there anyone out there that can help with some constructive advice?
Answer 396 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Don't accept anyobne back because the PROMISE to change --- consider that option only once they HAVE changed, and when their therapist / shrink is also confident that they have accomplished significant change. Promises are far too easy to make and too easy to break, too. Saying that he is WIlling to change is a long, long way from actually changing and, more important, from staying changed.
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