Forgive me for my own ramblings but i need to talk to some one.I am married for the 6 months been going out for 6 years before getting married. But the last 6 months have been horrible. Everything i do is not right.I cheated on him during our realtionship once i was at a weak point but vow never to let myself get to that low place, never. i spoke to this guy 6 months, had phone sex once and kissed once .. it was a big mistake i'll never forget, but things where not right in my own relationship.Immature as i was.. by getting the attention i lacked in my own ended in me cheating...If you knew me you would know that is not who or what i am about... but the relationship being the way it was lead me in this way...But i have changed but now being married to the same guy who i cheated own is hard.... He forgave me although not completely cause we have fights and its always brought up. He finds me no longer attractive because i am bigger (36/34) than most of his friends wives and is embarressed to be with me. His friends are like him with their own businesses and wives that are there very own "desperate housewives " which i'm not apart of. Im qualified in my own profession earning my own money. His world is too materialistic and image conscious. My husband is some one i love dearly to this day. I hurt more cos its hard to believe the mean words are from the very person you love..

Am i making sense... i'm not sure but every day is a daily struggle. He 's a priority in my life, but in his i'm 3rd you know after the business and the friends.

I really want this marriage to work, but what am i doing wrong?