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16 Nov 2011

How to get through to him
My husband constantly talks over me. When I''m talking, he interrupts me. And he will ask me a question, then I try to reply and he says, " Let me finish."  then he repeats the VERY SAME question and I say, " Can I answer now?"  Then he says, " NO...let me finish!"  Then he rambles on and on and repeats himself I don''t know how many times and I eventually switch off because I''m not allowed to say a word.
If I ask him a question on behalf of a friend, he asks me, " why are you interested in THEIR life so much?"  I tell him that I''m not interested in their life but I am just asking him because he might know the answer to the question / problem. BUT, he also doesn''t let me finish asking the question before interrupting me to ask me why I''m sticking my nose into somebody else''s issues. I''m NOT.....THEY asked ME if I had any ideas.
I''m frustrated beyond belief. I feel like he wants a wife who is seen and not heard.
I mean, it was OK when HIS friend came to him with relationship issues....and I left the two of them to talk. But when I have a friend who is asking me something about labour law, I''m not allowed to try and help her?????
Am I the crazy one here or is he just unfair? It''s bad enough that I''m stuck at home 24/7 in a foreign country where people don''t speak English. I have managed to make some friends and they always help me. Why can''t I return the favour?
:-( I hate to say this but I think I need a drink! I stopped smoking more than a year ago....sometimes just wish I never did. I feel like my stress is getting too much to take.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sometimes its a mystery why someone gets treated like a doormat. Sometimes it's the way they have WELCOME tattooed down their back in large letters.
He sounds like a rather pathetic guy with low self-esteem and trying feebly to make himself seem important, at least to himself, even if nobody else would be impressed.
Of course he's being unfair - fairness isn't in his mind at all.
If he isn't prepared to get into proper marriage counselling, even if he needs to think it'll focus on the problems he seems to experience with your behaviour - then maybe consider individual counselling to help you find better ways to cope with his frustrating behaviour.
As Liza says, what he's doing is at least psychologically abusive.
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