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13 Jan 2006

I'm losing it..
I'm so tired today - my mother is in a state of anxiety - financial problems and my dad does not even know about it..he's the good for nothing type, likes to spend only and place orders but never contributes a cent toward bills that need to be paid...I'm always the one being leaned on and lending an ear whether I want to or not, I can't take it anymore, I just can't help anymore, I feel sick....just want to die........................
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Buck up, nmun ! Lending an ear is better than lending money, in a situation like this. Are you the only one expected to share this burden ? I agree with Frusty about letting them take responsibility for their own choices and actions. And suggest that mom see a personal counsellor, to work on enabling her to cope better . It's not about turning your back on her. But it's very important that while you may sympathize with them and wish it were better, dont wish that YOU could make it better --- that would need magic, not aid, and it is not your responsibility
But in a way the impact could be similar to your dad's scorn and abuse --- by being too helpful you could also be confirming her view of herself as helplss and useless and unable to deal with these things on her own.
And see a counsellor yourself, to improve your own coping skills, and maybe learn more about the most efficient and least draining way for you to be helpful to her
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