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06 Feb 2006

I'm not anyone special, I lack everything, this perfect popular boy will never pay attention to me..
Hi, I'm Amie again.

I've found the perfect guy for me (for those who read the other question I submited, he is the one that's in my class and kind of ignores me).

He's so intelligent, he likes sports, he knows English (hey! , I live in Spain and most people at my age, including me, don't know English, but her mother is from USA, and this makes him even more special for me), he writes very good, he's so polite and kind, and I'm sure he's interested in something (I mean, teenage boys don't seem to care much about anything, they just ignore everything). He doesn't get very good marks at school but he makes interesting questions in class, I'm sure he'd study if he was not worried about what his friends would say, because his friends (and i like to think that he doesn't) are "males", they smoke illegal things, girls do "little works" for them in the toilets.. well, I think you got the idea.

But he's so different, I really like him.
I'm not sure if he's had any girlfriend yet, but he's the typical popular boy that seems a bit innocent is these things, because he is so kind, he always says the right thing in the right moment, he is never rude with girls (such as other boys, who are always trying to be admired by other boys and keep saying stupid things all the time). He's not a particularly beautiful guy (his ears are quite big, and he's got acne) but I find his defects just perfect.

Well, so he is the boy I like. But boys don't seem to notice me, probably because I don't pretend to catch always the attention like other girls do. I usually get very good marks at school, maybe that's another reason, for them I a swot and that's on top of being a girl or even a person.

In any case, I'm sure it's all my fault, I'm not anyone special and I'm sure my physical appearance is not a boost for them to talk with me (I'm not blond or blue-eyed and my boobs are really small), you know I'm not the kind of girl who boys die for.

I think I'm a disaster, I'm a dissapointment for everyone, I lack personality and everything (this is why I doubt about the United World Colleges thing). I believe that nobody loves me, and nobody will miss me when I'm gone. I do not have any particular characteristic that would made others remember me. In fact, nobody has never said to me that I'm unic or special. I don't think so either.

I need love, I need that boy's attention but I'm so so discreet he will never pay any attention to me because: a) he doesn't like me physically because we've been in the same class since September and these things are soon and easily noticed, and b) he's not interested in talking with me, I'm a swot and that's equal to boring.

I'm tired of everything. I need other's attention and love. And help.

Answer 391 views

01 Jan 0001

Interesting, A. You are able to "find his defects just perfect", yet you're so unforgiving about your own ? I suspect that the only person you are disappointing, so far, is yourself. The sort of boys who talk to a girl's appearance, aren't worth bothering about.
Being good at your schoolwork isn't boring, and will place you in a far stronger position in the years ahead, to have more freedom and choices in life ; and as the superficially pretty girls fade ( ttheir looks won't last ; your brains will ), they will have nothing else to feel special about.
I think butterfly is right : what may be the only really unattractive thing about you, is that YOU seem to find yourself unatractive and boring --- that's not appealing to anyone. Maybe seeing a counsellor would help, and as you become better able to appreciate all that IS special and good about yourself, others will find it easier to notice and appreciate that, too.
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