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03 Apr 2004

I'm not getting better - Depression
I am twenty five years of age in the last three years I've gone through losing my mother to cancer, a divorce, leaving my job and moving back home to look after my father. I am under treatment for depression from September last year and early in January I was admitted to Chris Hani Baragwanath for attempted suicide. Currently I am struggling because I am back to where I started before I even began the treatment. I am currently living with my ex-husband soon to be my husband again and his mother who he has been looking after his whole life and then there is my father who is living with demensia. My husband to be do not always understand my dad and then I start worrying because I am all that my dad has and I understand for the first time in my life that he has to look after his mother but I need to know that if something happens to me or just the normal day to day living that he will understand that and that he will accept that I have to look after my dad but he doesnt.

Please help me I want to get better but can't seem to get a hold on my life.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Pokkels,
After all the ordeals and troubls you have been through, it's hardly surprising that you have become Depressed, and you deserve careful treatmeent for it. Congratulations that you have persisted in this necessary struggle, and that you are still clear that you want to get better. It's not quite clear from your message, but I hope you are still continuing in treatment, and can discus these matters with your psychiatrist. Check out the availability of counselling, also, within reach of you, because it sounds as if there are still many issues which you can solve, but that you will do so more eficiently with the direct and specific advice of a counsellor.
As you and your husband-to-be both are familiar with the duties and dificulties of looking after an aging and dependent parent, you should be better able to understand each other's situation. When you talk to him about the problems of looking after your dad, make the comparison to how you understand and admire his caring for his mother ; and clarify that people with dementia are especially difficult to handle because unlike, say, someone with cancer who can usually retain the full use of their mind until right before the end, the person suffering from dementia has the reverse situation, often a fully healthy body, but with the loss of the powers of their brain and mind, losing memory and ability to reason and be clever, which can make the burden more challenging.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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