Ask an expert
Question

19 Jul 2011

Indecent Proposal
Good day CyberShrink

I am a married woman, married for 8 months but with my partner on and off for 12 years. I am currently taking cilift daily for bouts of depression for years now. I am seeing a therapist but guess i just needed your thoughts on the matter as well.

My husband has been out of permanent employment for about 2 years now and this strain has indeed caused many trials in our relationship. We are still staying with my parents, have no kids and even though the situation might sound horrendous to many people, we love one another deeply.

I have posted here before about our difficulties, particularly due to him not working and him naturally not being in the mood for sex, also of course due to us living with my parents, feeling like we are kids, etc.

Anyway, this past month has hit us so hard financially that we have had to sell so many household and clothing items. I am taking care of my parents and sister who is on a disability grant as well. I posted an advert on a local want ad section where i requested a way to make extra money.

I received many strange offers, one offering me money to have sex with him occasionally. I felt really drawn to this offer prompting details from him and comtemplating heavily on the idea.

We have been liasing back and forth via e-mail and i think i am more tempted by the sex than the money to be honest.Even though the money he is offering will probably help me keep a roof over our heads i do not want to be unfaithful nor do i want to be a prostitute.

There is however this other voice that is telling me i should do what feels good and enjoy the offer that is being presented to me, the same voice that wants to lure me to a dark place i really dont want to be a part of.

I felt like telling my husband but dont want him to feel more pressure as he is trying very hard to find a permanent job, he cleans and runs errands wherever he can. He is also seeing a therapist due to this stress. As i say i have written before regarding my occasional fantasies and sexual infatuations i mentally construct but never has it been this close to actually happening i think.

I was raped when i was 16 if this may help, anyway i really would appreciate your thoughts on this matter.
Answer 526 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Yes, unemployment puts a strain on any individual and any relationship.

However, I don't see how I can recommend taking up paid sex as a solution for problems, though I can understand how you might find the idea tempting in more ways than one. What does your husband think of the idea ? He could hardly fail to be curious about where the new money was coming from. Otherwise, how could you explain it to him ?

I agree with Maria.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.