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29 Aug 2007

Infidelity
My husband had an affair about 6 years ago - we managed to get through that difficult period and are still together, I know over the years he has still had contact with the woman but he has not been unfaithful. A month ago I found out that she had moved house and he visited her there. He had sex with her - how do I know? I found secretion marks in his underwear. I dont know whether I should broach the subject or rather wait and see what is going on. Any suggestions? I am really unsure on how to cope with this one.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

He was foolish to maintain any sort of contact with a woman he had an affair with --- that was asking for trouble. And there was no possible good and wholesome reason for him visiting her ever again. I don't see what you would gain from waiting. A fierce confrontation would not be adviseable, simply because it would reduce your chances of finding out what is going on and of finding a sensible solution. But wouldn't it be best to confront him calmly and make it clear that you are aware that soemthing further is happening, and that this issue must be settled permanently. Suggest marriage counselling to work through this with a neutral expert, and improve the chances of a good resolution, whatever that might be.
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