Ask an expert

25 Jan 2010

Is this all there is?
So, life' s been going decently. I' m the positive one, the one who always sees the glass as overflowing with possibility even if there is just a couple of drops in it.
I' m the person who sees reason, thinks logically and has an ability to be objective, open to new ideas and to new experiences.

But I am at the stage wondering if this is all there is. I see my parents aging and notice how thankful they are for any time anyone of their children gives them. I see their sadness at not being as independent. I' ve been taking them to doctors helping through radiotherapy and chemotherapy and other illnesses. They seldom see their grandchildren or all their children, they live from day to day.

And I realise that is what is in store for me one day. My children are older and independent and I did a good job in helpign them become fully fledged independent achieving adults but I miss them.

I wasn' t a woman who gave up everything for their children but we were close and experience a loving relationship but ultimately I realise that no matter what, I' ll be my parents one day.

I would rather just get that pain and suffering over with now.
I am so pained about everything now that I' m fixing my will and insurance policies, looking at things as though it' s all soon going to be over. I can' t get it out of my head and I' m withdrawing from evryone so that they don' t feel it so bad when I' m not around anymore.

I know I' d be classified as needing help, and I know that getting help may make me see some positives about life (even as I do acknowledge this intellectually) - I ultimately know where it' s going to land up and think what' s the f***** point?

Answer 375 views

01 Jan 0001

Wasn't there a Peggy Lee song, "It this all there is ? " ?
Its sad that in a way, the more excellent you were as a parent, by raising your kids lovingly to be independent adults, they more they are ABLE to neglect you when you grow older ( but the less they would want to ! ) - and that is a better tribute to you than producing whiny, clinging kids who never really grow up - then when you might need help, they need it too, and are unable to be supportive.
But I think therapy would be a wise invetiment at this stage. NOT in order to convice you that life is one long laugh, but to re-clarify what it is indeed all about, what things in life should and can and do bring you joy or at least satisfaction ( some days, I just don't have enough energy for joy ! ) - so that you don't cheat yourself out of pleasures that you deserve and which are accessable to you.
Isolating yourself from others, producing a sort of premature social death, is no solution, for you or for them
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.