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03 Nov 2008

Ive become an unattractive fat wife
When I was in my 9th month of pregnancy I weighed about 80, my weight before I fell pregnant was 62kg' s, its 2 years since I gave birth and Im at 100kg' s. After I gave birth things just got so busy with the baby and we movedhouse so my plans to start exercising immediately after the birth fell by the wayside. I feel disgusted with myself for gaining so much weight after my pregnancy and its affecting the way I feel about myself, my energy levels, my ability or willingness to play and do stuff with my son to a certain extent, and last but certainly not least, its affected my marriage, i have lost my libido, I feel unattractive, my husband doesnt say it but I can see he is embarrased by how I look now, when we are in a mall, he rarely walks next to me, always behind or in front, and whats worse I dont even feel badly about him doing that because I dont care what he feels about my weight, thats how depressed and dispondent Ive become about it. We dont have sex anymore because I dont feel like it, and he doesnt make attempts at it probably because i dont turn him on anymore, I think he has been focussing on other women to what xtent I dont know, if its gone beyond flirting or is it at the physical level already, I dont know, but we had marital problems anyway, even when I was a perfect size 10, before the pregnancy so I believe that the stress of the marriage and post natal depression which he still doesnt know I suffered from after my baby , contributed to the weight gain. I never went for professional help for the PND.

My question is, what do I do to lose the weight, I dont eat junk food, Im very health conscious, some people dont exercise but they lose weight naturally after birth, I didnt, and I breastfed untill my son was 1year and 9months, but it didnt help with me losing weight like everyone says it does. Is there something wrong with me, I dont know what to do anymore, I feel ugly and disgusted with myself, and I dont blame my husband for not even wanting to look at me anymore, because the person I am now is not who he married, people might say that he must be undrstanding and love me for me, but I really dont blame him because its unattractive to be overweight, I used to be sexy and pretty, now Im an unatractive obese 32 year old. I hate myself right now
Answer 1,281 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

OK, so you have gained wait and have been miserable, and for some reason have avoided having proper treatmwent for PND, weight-loss, or any of this. Why ? If you are still depressed, see a shrink and have it properly treated. And for general health issues and weight-loss, see a good GP or general physician for a full check-up and work on a plan for improving your diet and exercise, and losing weight. Maybe seeing a dietician would also help. You can do it !
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