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25 Oct 2006

Just don't know anymore
Hi all,

Things in my life lately just seem to be going so wrong and it is really effecting me as a person and has changed my fun loving nature into a nature of anger and depression.

My girlfriend and I met at work about 2 years ago. She was married at the time and we became friends. After time went along I found out that she and her husband were going through some troubles. She is a very strong christian and truelly and awesome woman. we started having an affair just before she got divorced and we continued into a relationship afterwards. It was really hard as I felt guilty of breaking her marriage up when her husband is such a nice guy who loves his 2 children so much. We were so in love words cannot describe it. As the relationship went on things got harder for me as she baught a house and her husband bought next door so that he could ne near the kids. I did not object to this however felt that I should not visit too much as I did not want her husband to find out about us so soon after divorce. She started to think that I just did not want to see her and I always said to her that we should take baby steps in order not to disrupt her kids and to avoid her ex husband from getting upset.

At the same time she seemed to be getting very insecure and have extreeme mood swings.

Anyway to cut a long story short I changed jobs and did not see her everyday which was really hard for both of us. We live 100KM apart from each other so it was also hard to see her at night all the time. I did get to a stage where I would tell her I would visit and then wake up in the morning and not want to go anymore as I felt really weird being next door to her ex etc. This made her really upset and in the long run we had a big fight and I told her I dont want to be with her anymore. She loved me so much that words cannot describe it. I had to leave for business overseas for 2 weeks a few days after our breakup and when I got back wanted to sort things out with her. She said that I had really hurt her which I can understand and she did not trust me anymore and wanted to be friends and see what happens. She has been so busy with life and it has been about a month since then and I have really tried to get her back. she does not make time for me one day she treats me like a total friend and I get upset and cry on the phone then the next day I try not to call her and she sms's me that she misses me and loves me etc. Then I will call her and say should we get together and she then says she just wants to be frineds for now and see what happens (get to know each other again)

My question is what do I do to either get her back or do I walk away or do I be her friend despite the fact it hurts so much and hope we get back together. Its killing me
Answer 422 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

How about some relationship counselling, iof you could arrange to both be available at a suitable time ? Its not at all surprising that you find the ex being next door uncomfortable. Though if they are now divorced, she should be entitled to pick her own friends and relationships
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