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19 Sep 2011

Laying about finances
I''ve been leaving with my partner for about 9 months now, when we moved together we wanted to buy joint property, due to his bad credit record, I ended up buying the property on my own. I asked him to pay off all his debts, so as to buy a bigger place where we both can own it, he agreed, I just discovered he has incurred more debts,credit card &  store card, from the when we wanted to buy a house, when I ask him, he say he need to look after his family(his parents &  siblings). While I look after my family (our baby &  us). Is it fair for him, wanting take care of his family, while we have our own family, which at the end he end up neglecting, because he wants to look after his family. Please help
Will I be wrong to continue with lobola, I can for forsee me paying for his debts in the future.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You'd be wise not to ever buy property or indeed anything else, assuming debts and sharing ownership with a guy so clueless, feckless and irresponsible about money and debt. What on earth did he consider to vital for his life, that he had to keep buying stuff when already in debt and supposedlty paying off the old debts ?
Its nice for anyone to want to financially help their family, but this should NOT be done by going into debt, and not in preference to what he owes to you and his own child.
Marrying such a man, who is clearly not committed to properl;y caering for you and your child as any priority in his life, would not be at all wise. And it WOULD be wise to get a court order from Maintenance Court requiring him at least to pay maintenance for his child, and I think any sensible court would see that as having to take priority over anything he might donate to his family of origin. He shows not committment to you or the child, and seems to expect you to pay for yourself, the child AND him, and even to share ownership, so he gets possessions for nothing. Bad idea

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