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14 Sep 2006

Living with mum
Hi all

I am a 34year old guy living with my mother. My dad walked out on her about 9 years ago just as I was about to spread my wings. It came as quite a shock and was a most traumatic and lonely time – I saw her through incessant crying for almost two years. My only sister had married and moved away. I had to be strong for her and in a sense put my own life on hold for a bit. I guess it might have been compounded by a quarter life crisis where my career was going nowhere either.

Now I am think I really need to move out. My mum says it’s ok and I must do what I want but we have this very co-dependent relationship now and it is very tough to move on. I have not had a long term relationship (my longest has been 2 months and not since 1998) although I have a few new friends. The last few years have been like started out from scratch – new career; new friends – people come and go. Now it’s time for me to move on but its so hard.

And it is complicated by the fact that I am gay and it is so hard to meet new people especially as I am not out to my mum (although I am out to others in my family) and still living with her. I just worry about her being all alone in her old age. She has a few close friends but they all have their families at the end of the day.
The best for me would be to move to Cape Town but it is scary.

Any Advice?
Answer 431 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It happens, TTB. And a conscientious son or daughter can end to get trapped in a siuation in which their help is needed. Counselling can help one to gain in self-confidence. One should be proud of having been kind and grateful to one's aging parent. I'm not sure o the significance of a mov to Cape Town ; maybe other readers will have useful comments
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