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19 Oct 2006
I've been living on my own for four years now. My mother kicked me out of her house when I was 21. She never really liked me that much ,in fact she hates and I can say the feeling is mutual. I learned from my aunt that she hated my father and tried to terminate the pregancy but failed. I've never met my father and he's never made an effort to know me. This has never bothered me before until this year. When I look myself in the mirror and I hate what I see. I feel unwanted, like thrash. I haven't been lucky with my relationship as well. I often tell myself if my parents never loved, me how can I expect anyone to.
Your feelings are understandable, but very unfair to you. Whether or not your parents behaved badly ( and your father may not have been given enough information to have been able to contact you, and may have been chased away by your mother ), THEIR bad behaviour has nothing to do with your own value and worth. You are loveable in your own right even if these people were foolish enough not to recognize it. Explore and find a good local counsellor with whom you can work on self-esteem issues, and learn to recognize your own high worth, and to love yourself. The love of your parents has nothing to do with your value --- but unless you can elarn to appreciate and love yourself, this would make it hard for others to do so.
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