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12 Jan 2006

not such a bad place
today i decided to give hubby a break - my emotions are just too much. left a note saying i'll be back later. decided to watch a movie to distract myself from just going home or checking my phone. (being alone you notice how everyone always travels in at least two's.) anyway i was feeling pretty negative and was afraid i'd attract negative things - but the guy behind the ticket counter was great, he gave me a 50% discount after i handed him the full amount. its an odd world, its all about money and people don't usually give unless they have something to gain.
drove to the beach afterwards and i got uncomfortable cos this man was looking towards my car and i was trying to be left in my private space - alone - trying to not bawl. he ended up knocking on my window - i thought i was being hijacked when i heard the knock lol, such a pessimist - he said how he's been there and if i need to talk he's there, but i mustnt let life get me down i'm young and beautiful and its not so bad - he said all the right things. sure its cliche'd but i think we all need a push in the right direction, somewhere we lose the plot and get caught up in things that arent important.

and then i saw a guy rummaging bins and actually gathering our scraps for his meal.

i probably will still be freakish and cry a lot and feel crap and lonely, until i learn how to deal with my own feelings and STOP analysing them!! - but i am going to try because that mans right, he reminded me about something, life doesn't give you what you can't handle.
good luck to everyone with all that life throws at u and thanks for ure replies to my previous postings. n thanx Dude - the wheelchair thing makes sense, ta for your honesty
Answer 315 views

01 Jan 0001

Hello mermaid, and thanks for your encouraging message, and a useful reminder of how important it is to be open to the heartening and encouraging elements in life, and not merely selectively receptive to its miserable elements.
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