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10 Jan 2006

Passive Dependency ???
Hi Doctor,
Just want to find out about Passive dependency, on the little reading I have done about this order I feel I posses the traits of this type of behaviour, In all of my past relationships I have noticed a trend where I become insecure, feel they are going to leave me, I battle to trust, I become clingy, needing re-assuring, always looking to hear the correct answers etc.I am also constantly analysing the situation should I say that or should I have acted that way etcI am 36 years old
I just feel I don't progress in these relationships into the next level.
Is there a way out of this cycle. I was seeing a psychologist for other little issues, and I was diagnosed with depression this was 2 years ago and I have stopped with thes sessions to just grow and progress on my own, have booked a session with Psychologist again,my question is can we progress past this step without to much therapy, and we just do the normal postive affirmation readings, meditations etc Is it a sign of early mental illness
Just so tired of being anxious, and would lijke to just Love without all the complications that my mind creates.
Could this lead to the dark cloud that hangs over me at times?
Thanks
C
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

If you'd like to do a proper web-search, the official DSM-recognized term would be a Dependent Personality or Personality Disorder. It makes sense to see a psychologist again about this, but I'd urge you to seek out one who practises CBT ( COgnitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which is realistic, effective, and doesn't last too long --- whereas more analytic-style wafflers can spend years spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. Meditation won't help nor positive affirmation readings --- those are all wheel-spinners.
This is NOT a sign of mental illness, early or late. It could form part of the depression you have been experiencing --- again, a realstic, down-to-earth rather than airy-fairy CBT approach works wonders for Depression, too !
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