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27 Aug 2007

Past seems to be haunting me
I thought I had come toterms with my crazy past. Wasn't exactly a good girl, but I have cleaned up my act. I was in a very abusive relationship in my early twenties. Finally got the guts to stand up & realize that I have to get out, when I had a gun to my head. Shortly after the break up, I found out I was pregnant. Had an abortion as I wasn't in any state to have a child. I am not a horrid person, but I don't regret my decision. It was for the best. Coming from a very conservative family, woul have meant me marrying the mad man & I couldn't endure that. I really would not have coped. Had an abortion the very week I found out I was pregnant, which was the week I missed my cycle.

Anyway, I once again made a mistake. Such poor judgement & stupidity on my side. I can't believe what was in my head. I met someone who was married - he told me he was divorced. We went out for 3 months & then I got a call from his wife. Anyway, we broke up. But my family found out.

I am now happily married & have a family of my own. This past month, I have just been feeling so ashamed of my past & my stupidity. I keep wondering what my family must think of me, how they still have respect for me. No one ever brings up the past, and I have a good relationship with everyone. But I feel so awful. How do I get past this?
Answer 319 views

01 Jan 0001

The puzzle is why you would suddenly now, after all this time, start to feel ashamed about your past, one which you seem to have risen above successfully. If your family members who know about your past have been treating you normally, it is surely not something which is bothering them at all. I like anon's response, including the serenity prayer, which you perhaps need to memorize. And if these concerns continue to trouble you, do see a good local counsellor and work through this
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