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Question

12 Sep 2007

Post op
Hi CS

How are you?

I'm asking your advice on this as I know you've bn there - got the t-shirts in a variety of colours....

Remember I told you - that I have to have the whole op revised?
Plus the bone graft?

Well thats happening on thurs - 20/9.... Scared as hell !!!!

check - heres the thing - EVERYBODY wants to "take care of me" when i come out of hospital.
Especially my x. Hes been seeing a psychologist to work on his "communication skills" - is determined to patch things up with us.
He reckons that his mom wants to take care of me (and i know she really loves me) so i should allow it cos he'll do it "even if i never get back with him"
Is this wise?
My mom lives in a loft apartment - with stairs so i cant stay with her and my dad is with his fiancee and we dont talk.
I JUST WANT TO STAY ON MY OWN IN MY FLAT - dont see why i cant - i'll be in bed anyway right???
Is this not a good idea?

What would you do?
Answer 268 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

A variety of colours might be more interestign than several sets in the same colours ! I know and understand the fear, b ut there is also the agreeable chance that things will go well and get fixed, at long last.
I didn't have the problem of people competing to take care of me ! Surely that's not a bad thing if it is understoof by all as a time-limited thing, not in itself automatically leading to any longer-term committments or obligations, but leaving all later options open.
Could you stay in your own flat, with either him or his mom staying with you to care for you in the earliest stages when you need more assistance, and then visiting to see you remain OK ? Or at least to visit daily to help ? Think through what will be your state post-op, so what will and won't you be able to do for how long ? Some things are impossible to manage, literally, single-handedly or with limited mobility. Shopping could be difficult or impossible for a while.
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