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18 Feb 2003

Really worried about my girlfriend
I’m 19 and my girlfriend is 17 and we’ve been together for 2 years now. I’ve always been worried about her but more so now than ever. She gets on the scale at least once every half-hour, if not more, and the outcome of scale determines how she acts for the rest of the day. She obsesses about the way her body looks, and tells us she’s fat, sometimes strangers. This astonishes people as she’s clearly not. She has low self-esteem and she doesn’t radiate the self-confidence that she could. All these feelings lead her to be negative and this affects everyone around her and their relationships with her. I find this all hard to swallow because she is one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever met, she’s slim, and is the perfect weight for her height. Her family and I always compliment her when compliments are due, but we get the feeling that it goes in one ear and out the other. It’s as if she doesn’t want to believe us. Even dietary literature from experts doesn’t convince her. The daily shifting of her weight is enough to upset her. She feels like she has no friends, even though she does, and she can often convince herself that I don’t care about her anymore, even though I care more than ever. She has a wonderful personality and I have seen the self-confidence she can exude from time to time. I am really worried about her; she deserves to feel so much better about herself. Could you please help me so that I can help? I would appreciate it greatly.
Answer 385 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Andrew,
She's lucky to have someone like you around ! What you're describing sounds very much like an Eating Disorder, and can benefit grealy from expert treament ; while it usually remains chronic, and gets worse, if left alone. Why not discuss this seriously with her parents, and suggest that they, with your encouragement to her, as well, arrange for her to see a psychiatrist for a proper assessment and advice --- and providing the psychiatrist with the sort of inormation you outline in your message ?
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