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11 Jan 2006

reasonable time frame?
Hi
I got divorced 18mnths ago. I went onto chat + dating sites soon after the divorce. Decided I had been lonely for so long, and life was going to start. Met a few chaps, and then met my partner. We have been together for 14 mnths, and have been living together now for 5 months. Neither of us have children with us. He had an affair in about 2000. His marriage had always been very strained. They got back together for 3 years, and they have been seperated for 18months now, live in different cities. After he met me, he decided to start divorce proceedings. Although I understand the difficulties in arranging a divorce across 2 provinces, his wife is also very depressive and has ADHD, recently diagnosed. She is also so out of it that although she has a 4 year degree, is no longer able to hold a full day job, and is a teaching aid a school. We are all 40. I have met the wife when we collected children for xmas day. She really is a s bad as my partner explained to me. We are very happy together. It just feels like this is taking such a long time. I really did not want to be involved with a married man, which he still legally is, and if the legal process continues its course, it will be 2007 before its all sorted. I just am not convinced that it couldnt have been delt with faster if my partner was convinced it was all over, and that he wanted to start a new life with me. The ex wife plays dumb and helpless, but come to being faced with settlement agreements, she delays and queries and obstructs the process, feigning ignorance and the need for spiritual / medical advice etc. There are always very ligitimate reasons for the delay. However, my divorce took 23 days! From start to finish. Am I being bluffed here? His commitment all seems real, and I dont want to start a doubt cycle.
Any thoughts?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It does seem puzzling that a simple divorce should be taking so long. Good friends of mine who decided on a divorce last year, completed it amicably within a couple of months. It sounds as though perhaps he feels guilty at leaving a sick and inadequate wife, and is allowing her to unreasonably prolong the whole process.
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