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04 Mar 2003

I would like to thank everyone for their valuable input and it helps, I read it over and tried not to think of anything else.

I have another question though. Why does he feels the need to break up with me so many times, does he enjoy seeing me cry, is it a power thing, does he want to prove something to himself? I find it very disturbing that after we had our arguement and my tears are wiped he pretends that nothing happened followed by requests for massages and then sex.
He tells me that he cant handle being with me anymore and that he wants to be left alone aswell as telling me how much he loves me the same time. It hurts me that he tells me he loves me and yet doesnt want to be with me. He is not very open with me and I always find myself asking questions which he claims is interrogation.

Please shed some light.

Answer 346 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Cool,
Do you want to leave this guy, or just to understand him, while he continues to treat you badly ? It may well be a "power thing", something that makes him feel in charge of events, to break up with you so often. When he is hurtful to you, then acs as if nothing happened, this suggests that to him, nothing significant did happen --- in other words, that to him, your hurt wasn't anything much.
And it's ambivalent twaddle to say he loves you, while he acts in an unloving manner, and that he can't live with you although he loves you. It reminds me of the title of a popular recent New York musical : " I Love You ; You're Perfect ; Now Change !"
Are you really ntent on trying to reform this uncaring, uncommunicative and resistant bloke, rather than to get on with your life and find a good guy who won't need so much work ?
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