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16 Sep 2007

relationship probs
I don’t know what to do anymore. When is it okay for your boyfriend to just “stop”. I mean- stop everything. He just stopped caring, he wants to be all alone. He just wants to see me once in a blue moon and on his terms. Things are just so confusing right now and I don’t know what he wants. One minute he is so over-protective and cross questioning me- the next its like he doesn’t want this anymore. Its so damn confusing and I cant take it anymore, I find myself doubting myself- and starting to read all these “self-improvement” books, because I think there could be a problem with my insecurities and the way I look at life. But truth is, this is just not doing it for me. When we first met- oh my word- no-one will even begin to understand how wonderful this man was to me… it was out of this world, we wanted to spend every moment with each other- now its like he’s not interested anymore. How does someone do that? How do you make someone your world, and make them believe that nothing else matters but them, and them drop them. Im really sad about this, becos I want to have him in my life, I need to have him in my life, but I don’t think he wants the same. I came up with a theory though, I think that he became totally obsessed with me at first(he really was) but now the excitement has worn off and he needs to find something new to be obsessed about. I cant stand to be put on the side or considered second best. Every time I bring it up with him- I seem psycho, or he starts crying becos he thinks that he is not doing enough. He just doesn’t get it, and I cant spend the rest of my life hoping that he is gonna be interested in me again. There is another factor though, he has lent me all this money and I think that’s why im staying- the guilt, and I think that’s why he cant let go- cos he is scared I wont pay it back- its over ten thousand. How can someone move backwards in their relationship. I know he doesn’t want to spend his life with me, cos he just stopped saying it. I think it’s the end of the road for us, and it breaks my heart that he doesn’t have enough respect for me to let me know that he doesn’t want this anymore. I want to be with him so badly, but I cant do this desperate act no more…I cant believe he doesn’t love me anymore- im pretty broken inside. What could the reasons be? I have no-one but him in my life. Please tell me if there is a way to fix this? I still have hope, but I just wanna call it quits. We together for almost a year. Should we just give up??
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

WHo knows, maybe you do have some probelms with some insecurities, but surely what's dominant right now is your bf's insecurities, which he doesn't seem to be handling at all well. Money often causes problems within a friendship. Maybe see if you can borrow some money from the bank so you can afford to pay him back, and thenget clear from him in financial terms, and see if there's any real relationship left ? Mayhbe he has other problems, not involving you, but preoccupying him ?
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