I have dubble standerds for my children as I pressurise one child maybe in an attempt to reach the goals that I never could which she do reach but now her standerds are even higher and this seems to bring her down if she fails so then I feel guilty for pushing her (she is a child who loves to please as this gets her the attention she requires). So is this good for her selfesteem? All her friends gets higher grades than her then I would sometimes blame her that she could have done better just to comfort her when she is down. My other child I don' t expect anything as she has a sickness and I think she must just enjoy live while living and when she achieve the same as her sister I so glad and suprised and then sometimes remind her how much more she chould do if she would put in a bit more effort. So must I slack on the one child and pressurize the other one more or am I going the right way abou it as the other child doesn' t care if she pleases me or not?