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Question

14 Sep 2006

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO
HI, PLEASE ADVISE.

I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 4 YEARS. FOR 2 1/2 YEARS WE HAVE HAD NO SEX. FIRST HE SAID HE WAS STRESSED AND THEN NOTHING. HE IS 54 AND I AM 38.

I STAY WITH HIM, RENT FREE, HE BUYS ALMOST EVERYTHING AND HE JUST BOUGHT ME A SECOUND HAND CAR.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR 6 MONTHS TO FALL PREGNANT USING A.I. IF I FALL PREGNANT I KNOW I WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AS HE IS NOT A PERSON WHO LIKES OR WANTS A CHILD. WE HAVE DISCUSSED THIS AND A CHILD IN HIS LIFE IS NOT AN OPTION. (HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN HAVING A.I.)

WHAT I CAN'T DECIDE IS SHOULD I STAY, HAVE MONEY TO SPEND, COMPANY AND A COMPANION TO GO OUT AND SOCIALISE WITH AND SOMEONE WHO I DO LOVE DEARLY.

OR DO I GO, PAY RENT, BECOME A SINGLE PARENT WITH ALL THE COSTS THAT GO WITH IT, ONLY JUST MANAGE FINANCIALLY, RISK BEING LONELY AND HAVE THE CHILD I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED.

I KNOW THAT THERE IS ALWAYS A CHANCE THAT I WILL MEET SOMEONE WHO IS BETTER THAN THE MAN I HAVE BUT ITS SO HARD TO MEET DECENT MEN AND WITH A BABY I WON'T BE
ABLE TO CAME AND GO AS I PLEASE AS I HAVE A CHILD TO LOOK AFTER AND MONEY WILL BE TIGHT.

IT SEEMS THAT "ITS SIX OF ONE AND HALF DOZEN OF THE OTHER" PLEASE ADVISE. (P.S. I HAVE DECIDED THAT I CAN LIVE WITHOUT THE SEX BUT IF AN OFFER AT THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE SHOULD HAPPEN, I CAN'T BE SURE THAT I WOULD SAY NO)
Answer 354 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I wonder whether he may be having ED ( erectile difficulties ) and avoiding sex because this embarrasses him so ? its a common problem with men, especially as they get a bit older. But it sounds rather as though you have been using him, insisting on having a child thopugh he for understandable reasons doesn't want one. And you are having AI, hoping to get pregnant, while enjoying his money and companionship ? What would happen if you did become pregnant ? Why should he pay for you to have a child ? I am bothered when women insist on having a child, because they want one, without apparently thinking through whether this would be good for the child.
It does sound as though you are intent on becoming a single parent, but expect him to pay the costs --- that's not fair
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