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11 Sep 2007

Sister dating a drug-addict
Hi CyberShrink,

My 19year old sister who lives at home with me is currently dating a drug-addict (he is a year younger than her, currently completing his matric year).

We have told her on numerous occasions that she is worth so much more than him, and that he won't change his ways. She is under the impression that somehow she can change him. When she's with him, she has no ambition.

My biggest fear is no matter what he does, she will remain with him. I can't throw tantrums with her, because it will only draw her closer to him.

My mother and I have no idea what more to do so that she opens her eyes. Please help! I am so frustrated right now.
Answer 1,546 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Gosh, is she really that desperate and determined to woo a loser ? A drug-adict in matric is hardly likely to be a satisfactory mate, and will probably soon lose his sexual talents, if perhaps that is what has inititally attracted her. Sadly, it sounds as though she has that delusion that too many people indulge in, that she can miraculously change someone who would probably not change if a large team of the world's most talented shrinks worked on him for a year. You may well be right in your observation that she may be pushed even more close to him by the fierce opposition of her family.
As she is a legal adult, she has the constitutional right to be stupid. Remain available when some disaster occurs that might open her eyes to the risks she is insisting on exposing herself to.
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