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Question

02 Feb 2006

Sleep deprivation
I haven't slept well since I got married 8 years ago. My husband snores and we have very different sleeping patterns - I need a full 9 hours to feel refreshed the next day and he's OK with watching TV until 1am and then falling into bed.

Problem is, this is causing a lot of friction between us. I am chronically tired and run down, and have very little energy. He refuses to do anything about his snoring and feels that it is something he can't do anything about. The more irritated I get, the more he counter-attacks because he says I'm angry at him for something he doesn't even know he's doing. He has also taken to watching TV in bed, which means that I can't fall asleep. He sulks when I ask him to switch it off and by then I am so irritated that i can't fall asleep anyway, which means he falls asleep first and starts snoring, which keeps me awake anyway.

I don't want to start sleeping in a different bedroom, but realistically what else can I do to become fully rested again?
Answer 318 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

People generally snore only when they lie on their back, so sewing something firm and uncomfortable, like a cotton-reel, into the middle of the back of his pyjama tops, which would wake him every time he rolls onto his back, may help to stop the snoring. He also needs to know that most snorers don't know that they snore, because they are asleep while making that awful noice ; also that many bad snorers actually may have Sleep Apnoea, a disorder in which they periodically through the night stop breathing altogether , then they start breathing again with heavy snoring and snorting. And this condition has some real risks for the snorer, and is worth being checked for --- that idea might motivate him ! The snoring may be something he's not aware of doing, but when he CAN do something abotu it, its still mean not to do so. As for TV watching in bed, its a bad habit --- can't he at least get a pair of ear[hones, so he can hear without the sound disturbing you ? Then maybe the set can be positioned so the flickering light disturbs you less. It might also work best if he watched TV in the lounge while he's not feeling sleepy, letting you get to sleep on your own before he goes to bed
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