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18 Dec 2009

Social Phobia
Hi Doc

I have extreme social phobia to the point were I am terrified of any situation that involves other people. I keep expecting them to humiliate me, ridicule me, and just ' crucify me' , fear of rejection, anger, hostility, ignore, blamed for others issues mistakes etc. This has gotten so bad that I don’ t have friends, don’ t socialize, defn don’ t date and worst now its affecting my job to the point were I don’ t have one and are to afraid of looking for one. The problem is not just that it happens to me but I don’ t want to delegate, tell people what to do, respond, give my opinion as I don’ t want to make people feel like I do., as above.

I know this makes no sense as my job as a manager is to delegate and to have opinions but it feels like I take others powers away by doing this even though I know its expected and necessary for me to do this. Im terrified and not just a little worried etc. This cycle goes on and on in my life started in childhood, gets better then drops back to fear, and each time this happen it gets worse. I' m supposed to be handling my life as an adult but the fear is way out of control.

Right now I feel so filled with resentment and hate and my mind keeps bringing up every single area in my life when this has happened. I stop the thought and focus on the times I received the opposite but I cannot remember anything. I' ve been going for treatment for this for over a year and even thought the depression is better the fear is so bad. I want to work and have a life but I cannot deal with the ridicule. My family life is like this very harsh, negative, not allowed to say anything or will be severely personally attacked. I' d rather take this from family members and stay with them as I know what to expect where from strangers I don’ t and if I do get attacked - verbally I cannot defend myself or that’ s how I feel.

People I work with see me as soft, an easy target, they told me this. I never say anything back to them as I am usually so surprised and don’ t want to hurt their feelings. Im now applying for work earning less then half from what I use to earn as Im to afraid to talk etc. I don’ t want to life like this. I' m tired of being the sad ninny. I face my fears go for what I want just to find myelsf having to start over again in a few months
Answer 933 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You describe social phobia very acurately, so I'm wondering why you have not yet had successful treatment for it. It generally responds excelently to proper treatment. See a good local shrink for assessment to confirm the diagnosis and to discuss treatment options. These ought to include CBT ( COgnitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which could be ideal for your situation ) and some meds also used to treat depression.
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