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20 Jan 2006

Still quietly calm.
Hmm. Feels like I'm standing on a rightrope - might fall off, might stay exactly where I am.

Was at a birthday party last night. Got a little bit late, I left before bf did. (Can I add right here that things have been going SO well with us, including bad friend - who I'm handling like a tame horse now - things are going brilliantly) We spoke this morning, he's tired, I'm tired, they were having a last few drinks and then went to bed. Him and Y (bad friend's new nic) left together. Then stopped at a shop along the way, because they were hungry. And pissed, might I add. Then they started joking around and bf ended up tackling Y in the shop. 2 policemen were also in the shop.. They ended up wanting to arrest the 2 of them... Apparently bf and Y spent more than an hour trying to convince the police NOT to arrest them and to give back their keys. They got their keys but had to pretend that they're walking home. Then Y got in his car and drove home (about 30min drive). He was then again pulled off and almost arrested for drunken driving.

He phones me to tell me this, after we've spoken. And he asked me nicely not to be upset, but to rather laugh about it.

I was neutral on the phone, showing no emotion, just saying "yes" and "oh ok" and then I told him that I needed to go - work.

Not sure how I feel - not sure how to react. Trying to stay calm?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello again Pencil,
Keep your balance till you reach the end where you can climb down safely. Stay calm, but ask HIM to review what happened, with 2 episodes getting him very close to arest, and a good chance of a fatal accident on the way home --- does he really find that funny ? And doesn't he see that Y might not be his safest and most reliable companion ? He keeps asking if you're upset, because he knows you are likely to be so. Tell him when he's on his own, he seems like a real man you enjoy being with, and when he's with Y he seems like a schoolboy who is unappealing. Make it VERY clear that this is unaceptable to any and all adults.
And if he presses on with the "It's just a joke" line, remind him of what I said in by notorious Big Brother articles --- if you're the only one laughing, that wasn't a joke.
this is at least binge drinking and problem drinking.
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