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06 Aug 2007

stuck with my poor self-image
I have never had any self-confidence even though I am highly intelligent (objective IQ tests) and not ugly. After realising only in middle age that my poor opinion of myself has sabotaged everything in my life since childhood, I still cannot get myself into gear. I have tried positive affirmations, I have tried behaving myself out of the bad behaviour (emotional overeating, not wanting to get up, do things, go out, being negative, never standing up for myself or my opinion, never doing anything that is good for me or my body). I suspect that I may be in a marriage and have a family who prefer the way I have always been and are unsupportive, but I think that's no excuse. I really need to look after myself better but I fail every day, day after day, week after week,...always. I know what to do but why can't I do it?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, valeries, you've suffered from this poor self-image for long enough --- see a good CBT oriented therapist and work through this, to gain self-esteem and confidence, and to start enjoying life more. CBT is important because it attend both to the maladaptive behaviour, but also to the unhelpful automatic thoughts and assumptions which are troubling you. And you may have made a very wise observation, that marriages and families sometimes build themselves around the disorder one of its members suffers from, and they may even resist your attempts to get better, as they would have to re-organize their own lives and styles, if you improved and became more free
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