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14 Feb 2006

To Girlpower
Hi there, believe me it is not an easy decision that was made and I cannot say I made it, it was "forced" upon us -me. I cannot tell you how hard it was and still is as I miss him dearly every single day and we also work together so I still see him everyday. I took our breakup so bad I drank and overdose of sleeping pills because I thought my world has ended. Yesterday was a month and I am still here trying to deal with it. I have terrible dreams about him, me and his wife staying in one house and I wake up crying over him. I try to hate him but it is not easy as I still love him deeply but will not show it to him. He told me again yesterday he misses me and it made me even more confused,why does he keep telling me this? I miss him too but would not say that because it only opens up a almost healed wound.

I know how you feel but luckily my situation never involved abortion I can only imagine how painful that must have been. People keep telling me, and I suppose you have heard it to stay away from married men. This was my first and last but you need to see that if he wanted to be with you he would have done so long time ago but we always keep hoping that maybe... but that is all it will ever be is a maybe. Let it go stop putting yourself through it at the end of the day you are the only one that end up with a broken heart. It is good that you are going to see a shrink. How old are you if you do not mind me asking.
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01 Jan 0001

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