Ask an expert
Question

18 Sep 2006

Unreasonable?
hi

would like a different perspective on this, maybe i'm being unreasonable.

i've recently met a wonderful man. the thing is, i just recently became comfortable (financially and carrer wise), i've been working towards this for a long time. he's just recently started working, is living on a very tight budget and does not have a car.

although at first i understood (we've all been through that at some point) now it just feels like he's taking advantage of my situation. he would ask me to take him places, and recently he asked me for a loan which he said will repay month end - this did not go down well with me, and i refused.
correct me if i'm wrong, but money is a very sensitive issue, especially in a new relationship.

i don't have a problem with sharing, but on the other hand i feel it's getting to much. he comes to my house, and eats my food - i say this cos it seems like he makes it a point to really EAT.
i really like him, but should i wait for the 4 months which he says it will take for him to get his act together?

my gut feeling tells me that something is amiss here. pls let me know what your take on this is?
am i unreasonably looking for a guy who will be the man figure in the relationship?
Answer 302 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It is rare for someone who worries that they might be being unreasonable, to actually BE unreasonable.
NO, he should not at all be asking for a loan, nor for you to be a taxi for him. Money should never be part of a proper personal relationship. If he's only interested in seeing you when there will be food, try meeting him in situations where no food could be available, and see how he responds. Your gut feeling is right. Like Rick, he sounds to me like an invertebrate
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
32% - 9465 votes
No
68% - 20208 votes
Vote