Ask an expert
Question

14 Sep 2007

Want to trust again....
My fiancé and I have been living 2gether for 2 years now.
I’m a divorcee with 2 teenage children. We met on a dating site and have developed a very loving relationship. My kids adore him. He has really been a help to me in so many ways.
I never thought that I’d meet such a good guy after been in a few disastrous relationships after my divorce.

When I met him…I thought….here we go again….another user/loser….but he proved otherwise. I soon learnt to trust again! The beginning of the year, he was away for a few days on business….One evening, I decided to surf the net….I discovered a few sites he’d visited…..and one was a dating site. He even went as far as to create a profile. Needless to say, I was devastated…and confronted him immediately. We both made a promise to each other when we met that all profiles previously created on any dating sites would be deleted….we did this together. Nevertherless, after some bullshit story, he admitted that he was curious and went onto the site to “check out the chicks”….Now this site will only give you access once a profile has been created.

Well, well….all the trust I slowly built up…..is gone. He has asked my forgiveness as he knows that he overstepped the line, and has not gone into another such site since then..(….I still check though…) I have since forgiven him…as I managed to nip it in the bud…But what if I hadn’t checked? How far would it have gone? My problem now is…..I have to learn to trust all over again….and it’s so hard!! Why are men so weak?? Why are they so easily tempted? Why do they search for the 10% they DON’T have instead of appreciating the 90% they DO have?

I really do love this guy…..in spite of this….But I need to know how to trust again….cos I really want to…..
Answer 281 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

INdividual or shared relationship counselling should help, don't you think ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9360 votes
No
67% - 19293 votes
Vote