Ask an expert
Question

01 Feb 2006

what am i do to ???
THis is my second marraige, my husbands third. I have a 5 yr old son and he has a 14 yr old son. WE have been married almost a year. I am pregnant and baby is due in 2 months time. Even though i love my husband very much we fight alot, and it's becuase of the kids. My son does not see his father cause i have no idea where the ass hole is. My son is a loveable little boy. He is not naughty yes sometimes hyper but he is a child. My husbands son on the other hand is a spoilt brat. What ever he wants he gets. My husband said that i have turned him against my son how i have done that i dont know. Last year me and my husband had this huge fight and ever since that day (sum time in aug) his son does not great me - nothing. About 3 weeks ago me and my husband had a fight, when we fight we ignore each other for days. We had to be out the place where we r staying now. He did'nt have the money for a dep on a new place, so he said that he will put his stuff into storage and he and his son would stay in a motel. Then he said he resigned from his job and that his son was going to go and stay with his mom. Nothing was said about me and my son going with my husband. So i presumed things had got so bad we r heading for a divorce, so i got my own flat. 3 days before i was to move he got money for a dep for a new place. Now everything was okay. Last night my son was eating supper and sometimes he takes forever to eat, so my husband moaned at him and told him to hurry up and eat or other wise he must go sit outside in the grass and eat. I am not allowed to say anything otherwise we end up fighting. WHen i told him his son has no manners and that he actually been rude to my mom, he was mad! Now he wants nothing to do with my mother. my son is not rude. He knows what will happen if is rude. I just dont know what to do. Last night my husband was upset and he did;nt tell me why. So i ignored him. THis morning he send me a sms he was cross with his son last night, thats why he needed time to cool of. THat's why he went ahead and bathed without me?? He wanted to be alone. As far as i can remember i did'nt see or hear him fight with his son for any reason. Told my mom what has happend and my son is going to live by her. ALso he is moaning i dont contribute towards our home (i buy groc every month ) he pays the rent. He said i must think what am i going to cotribute towards our home. Asked him will he start paying for some of my dr visits. He said no. So far i have spent over R 5000.00 on visits and medicine,. but yet he wants to moan cause i am not eating healthy ?????
Answer 327 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello sc,
Sounds like a really rocky marriage, with a rigid man with problems in understanding anyone else's needs. Sometimes in a relationship with a divorcee, you discover exactly why their first spouse divorced them.
From your decription, it is very difficult to understand why you married him, or why you would want to remain married to him. Unless he is prepared to invest heavily in marriage counselling, aren ;t you describing a elationship that is dead but just hasn't been buried yet ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9370 votes
No
67% - 19367 votes
Vote