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01 Sep 2007

wife insulting and humiliating him
how do i help a co-worker? all he talks about is how his wife bullies him and humiliates him in front of the anyone or neighbours. in the past week it was worse, he said they argued a lot and the wife threw pans, iron and any object at him. this guy is commited to his marriage and he is faithfully.

myself and other coworkers advised him to go for counselling but the wife refused to go. she controls him and hes not supposed to say no, otherwise the wife fights and humiliate him.

he is now talking of moving out and staying alone in a flat and wants to divorce. i asked him to call lifeline and he now says i must check the fone numbers for him.

i know that he is havin a tough time, but he is always complaining and we feels that its too much now. he must go for counselling or stop complaining all the time.

what else can be done to rescue this guy?
Answer 443 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, you are describing spousal abuse, except that while we hear a lot about men abusing women, we tend too easily to forget that some women abuse men. I wonder whether an agency like POWA, which helps abused women, would help an abused man --- they certainly ought to do so.
I agre that he should go for counselling, himself, to review his alternatives and how best to defend himself. If his wife is determined to remain abusive and to refuse help, then she is not at this stage iopen to change, but she should not be allowed to stop him from protecting himself and gaining more freedom and happiness. And you are right to ermphasize to him, kindly, that simply complaining doesn't get him anywhere useful.
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