Ask an expert

08 May 2018

I am depressed
Hi everyone, I have a serious problem. I am married and have problems with my husband. My husband is not cheating but the problem is that his family comes first before me. They used to come to our house and do bad things to me and when I retaliate by doing bad to them my husband tells me I am the evil woman. My husband and his family always stand in defense for each other, he tells me that his family was there for him before I came into his life. He. If I tell him what his family is doing to me when he is not around, he tells me that I saw what I wanted to see, then all the blame is on me. I am not working, I am just a law student and he's the one paying my fees. Whenever I start complaining about something he will tell me that I am unemployed and I have nothing and that he is the one who is doing everything. I don't have any means to survive. I am desperately looking for a job so that I can provide for my kids and I don't have any luck. Nothing is giving me pleasure, I sometimes feel like committing suicide. Please help
Answer 1,348 views
Depression expert

08 May 2018

Hi Rachel,
It's quite a common theme in messages to the forum, that a husband places too much priority on his family and relatively neglects his wife and even children. Marriage . couples counselling can help. Nagging may be tempting, but rarely does help. Retaliation absolutely never ever helps and usually makes things worse.   If they say things than make you feel bad, you can ignore this, or simply stay in your room while they visit, explaining calmly that they cause you hurt by how they treat you, and you don't want to see them.
As a law student : speak to student counselling, speak to POWA and similar groups intended to help abused women, who can help you to plan a safe exit from this cruel and abusive marriage.  If his mother and sisters support him in his abuse of you, they should be ashamed of themselves, and are co-abusers.
Don't allow yourself to think of harming yourself, which would prevent you from getting the help you need and moving towards the happier life you deserve and can achieve, and would be bad for your children.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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