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31 Aug 2011

having a ''break''
Dear Divorce Support Expert

I am not getting a divorce, but there is no relationship forum so i was wondering if you could maybe please help me?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 15 months and 3 weeks ago he said he needs a break to find himself. He said he has been unhappy, not with me, but he needs time alone to get more in touch with himself to get more in touch with his spiritual side and find himself.

This came as a huge shock to me but I have tried to give him space and what he asked for. However, he said it would go on till what is now a week ago, but when that day came he did not say anything about the break ending and so it has gone on. I am starting to feel very confused and feel very sad and anxious all the time because I am not sure where this is going. I love him so much and he is my best friend and so this situation is really becoming difficult.

I am not sure if I should talk to him and tell him this is making me very unhappy or if I should continue to give him the space he asked for. We do still see eachother but very much less than we used to.

Please help! :(
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Expert
Divorce support expert
Divorce support expert

01 Jan 0001

I always ask people who come to me after a breakup if they are aware that whatever "sign" has contributed to the relationship breakdown was already existing at the beginning of the relationship and everyone has always answered yes.
The problem is when we are in a relationship we focus either too much on believing that some things will go away or that they will change.
I your boyfriend is suddenly needing space or a "break" how are you going to manage in the future any obstacles that come to you? His behaviour seems to translate that whatever is going on with him he is not close enough to you to want to go through it as a couple. Although everyone needs their space and time alone there is a difference with walking away.
Be honest with yourself. Best friends can rely on each other.
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