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02 Oct 2008

consensual sex... legal age...problem
hi everyone. i have gotten myself into some possible trouble and it has me quite worried and concerned. what i am about to tell you might disgust some people and you will probably think of me as a bad person. i really don' t think i am a bad person, but i don' t know any more.

i am a 26 year old male accountant and i also tutor accounting for high school students. one of my students is an 18 year old matric girl whose parents are family friends of my own parents. she has a younger brother who I will call D who is 15 years old. he often would listen in when I was teaching his sister or chat to me about various things in his life. sometimes i' d stay at their house to watch dstv when the rest of the family went out and D might stay and watch with me and sometimes the family would go somewhere and leave D visiting my family etc.

well one day i was at their house alone and D and i were watching tv in the lounge. we were talking about some sexual stuff and i was trying to answer his questions as best i could, not that i am very sexually experienced or knowledgeable. but i was surprised how mature he seemed for a 15 year old (he looks older too) and how sexually experienced he seemed to be. i don' t know how much of it was true but he said he had had mainly oral sex, not penetrative and claimed to have given quite a few other guys blowjobs (but the way he described it sounded genuine). i am sure he is more sexually experienced than me!

he then told me he had been interested in me for a while and would i like him to give me a blowjob. i said i was not exactly comfortable with it as he is much younger than me, but i was horny so i said maybe a handjob. he took me by the hand and as we went to the bedroom i was practically shaking. i lay on the bed and let him take my pants off and touch me/play with me.

it gets worse. to cut a long story short the handjob turned into a blowjob and then to my surprise he pulled out some vaseline and asked me to penetrate him (he said it was his first time). he climbed on top of me (i had stayed lying there the whole time) and he controlled everything and brought me to orgasm inside him. i never asked him to do that. i also never gave him a blowjob or let him penetrate me.

i can' t deny that i enjoyed the sex and i probably didn' t try hard enough to stop it. i did ask him many times if he was sure he wanted to do it and was he sure he didn' t want to stop and was i hurting him. also i told him that he didn' t have to do anything he didn' t want to just to impress or please me. he made it clear it was what he wanted to do and even told me to shut up and let him enjoy himself!

since then we have had a few more similar encounters and since am not sexually active elsewhere i have not stopped what i am doing with D. there is a scary side to this story too. D is not a stupid boy and has indicated (jokingly) that if i stop doing this with him he might have to go to the authorities and tell them i have been raping him under duress. i told him that it works both ways and he would get into just as much trouble as me, but i am worried that this is not really the case. it would be the word of a 26 year old man against a 15 year old boy. i am definitely not hurting him and not forcing/coercing him to do anything against his will. i am a very shy, quiet, private, careful person never getting involved in illegal stuff. i don' t smoke, don' t drink, never touched drugs, etc etc.

so i need to know now, is this wrong what i am doing? morally, emotionally, ethically and/or legally speaking? is it illegal if he is below 16, but he is the one who instigated/initiated/requested and continued with the sexual activity? if this is illegal activity should i report it to the police? would it be better to wait until he is over 16 before reporting it, or does this not make a difference to the trouble i could get into? if no one is getting hurt or affected by what we are doing is it really a problem? i know you' re all thinking i should just never have allowed this to happen in the first place. don' t think i haven' t told myself that a hundred times already. i just need some advice on what to do now. i' m quite scared and i can' t really discuss this with anyone and am even taking a risk putting it here. i' m sure anyone who i talk to will judge me and condemn me, maybe even you guys. but please know that I am not looking for children to have sex with, i' m not some kind of pedophile. in fact there is a 33 year old guy in a firm that has some dealings with my company who am interested in and who i am thinking of asking out sometime. but future boyfriends is a whole other issue. for now, please could someone give me some expert/professional advice on what i should do with my current situation.
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Expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Feeling Guilty and thanks for posting here.

You have committed an offense irrespective of which partner initiated the sexual interaction. The point is that he is underage. Moral or emotional issues are secondary.

It is also disconcerting that you guys used Vaseline for anal intercourse - an oil-based product which is not compatible with condoms.

Back off from this young guy as quickly as you can. Learn from this experience.
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