Ask an expert
Question

19 Sep 2007

Getting over him...
I dated an excellent, passionate, intimate, highly energetic, intense, scary, fantastic, best-man I've ever had for almost 4 years of my life. He was my first and only love. We got along like a house on fire and really had a healthy sex life and we spoke to each other about anything. Then I cheated on him. Stupid I know. We got back together but things were never the same. It eventually frizzled out. I finally forgave myself for what I did and left and came overseas. Its now almost s year later since we officially broke up and I still can't get over him. I love him to bits. I think about my first love virtually every day. I've tried meeting other people but they don't even compare to him. I feel like I've left my other half behind. I ran away. How do I get rid of this feeling? Does it ever go away? Does one ever get over their first love? Sometimes I think I'm feeling like this bcoz one day we are destined to be in each others arms again. I dont know. Any opinions/suggestions?
Answer 390 views
Expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Sigh and thanks for your post.

I assume you're posting from somewhere overseas now (?), and that you're relatively young (?), both of which may exacerbate your longing for a time when you felt really safe and secure and loved, as you did in your relationship. Sometimes when we long for a previous relationship it isn't the relationship as such that we miss, but rather who we were in that relationship. It could also be that you're also longing for other aspects of your life you may have left back home. Is it possible that you are over-valuing your ex partner by seeing him, and the relationship, as ONLY good?

Maybe you shouldn't be trying so hard to get over him - that should be a natural process. Rather invest in yourself and your immediate world and try to find more meaning and pleasure in your life.

Finally, I hope you're not in contact with him in any way - any contact, even indirect, will definitely hold you back.


The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9364 votes
No
67% - 19336 votes
Vote