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09 Feb 2006

Matric Dance
Hi, I am in a Christian school. I'm gay, 17 and in Matric. I've never had a boyfriend. Been witing 'till after school to avoid possibile problems... Do you think that could be a problem in itself? I have no experience with even being friends with an openly gay guy. I hope there is still time to lear... My other question is where do I stand with the matric farewell. our school says no same-sex partners. I am alrady going with a female friend but I was just interested to know. I think it is unfair. Anothjer thing is that one of my teachers, whenever gay people are mentioned, always says "There will be no moffies in myclass". it makes me so angry but I can't say anything because I am not ready to come out at school. It wouldn;t be safe. I am out at home though. Its gets lonely sometimes. I have no one to talk to about what i really feel.

Thanx for ur help
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Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi JustInterested and welcome to our forum.

You could easily challenge your school's stance regarding same-sex couples being allowed to your matric farewell - a precedent has already been established in this regard - but you'll need to accept that there could be negative consequences. You'd be publicly outed, certainly at school and possibly beyond your school, and since you're attending a Christian school it wouldn't be easy. But how important is this to you? You could, for example, complain to the education department or even take your school to court. Your teacher's comments are highly prejudiced and discriminatory and he needs to be exposed - he's not only offending you but probably other gay people in your school, and he's also promoting and perpetuating social homophobia and prejudice. This would be akin to him making insulting racial comments in class, which would never be tolerated. I suggest that, since you're out to your parents, you either discuss this with them or make an appointment to discuss this, in confidence, with another teacher at your school whom you trust to uphold your confidentiality.

Don't worry about not having a boyfriend - that is of no consequence now but it would be great if you could socialise with other young gay men. If you live in or near Cape Town you could consider joining GABYS, a support group offered by Triangle Project for young gay and bisexual guys up to age 24 and facilitated by a psychologist. The group helps people come to terms with their sexual orientation in an often prejudiced and hostile world, and addresses diverse issues related to relationships, coming out and making important life choices. Phone (021) 448 3812 for more information or visit for details. Exit newspaper (a monthly national gay newspaper) is available from most branches of CNA and includes a forum for gay youth, run by Robin Malan.
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