Some time back my gf whom I was living with informed me that she had found out about my infidelity over three years and packed my stuff and asked me to leave her house.
I felt bad about it and had no idea that she was fully aware of my tricks. I cannot believe that she always knew but said nothing for 3 years - at the same time I ADMIRE her noblity for being so forgiving and consistent in her treatment of me during that time. She treated me well, provided for me when i was UNEMPLOYED knowing full well that I was having regular clandestine affairs. I am so guilt ridden but also in denial that I did anything wrong.so much so that i now have a new girlfriend and I am so scared that I will do the same. I am looking for reasons to make contact with my ex and even asked whether I could collect personal belongings of mine i left behind. She told me she would leave them on the front porch and I was free to collect themas she did not want me in her house. THis hurt me deeply and I am so confused and stubborn- I just cant get myself to say sorry from teh bottom of my heart.I know that I have lost all credibility with her and her family who adored me totally. How could i do this to some one I loved and someone who loved me so unconditionally. I cant expect her ever to take me back but how do I make some sort of restitution just to show honour and rfeleive me of the carry. I know that my present relationship (on the rebound) is going to suffer under the luggage I carry and sometimes wonder if I should end it.
please advise