Ask an expert
Question

23 Jan 2006

Re: Friend with Older Man
Hi all,

Hope you guys had an awesome weekend and well rested. :-)

Thank you for some awesome advice received previously much appreciated.

I would like to give some feedback on the situation. Last week I was determined to talk to him and tell him how I felt and that even though I enjoy being with him I have no sexual feelings for him.

I bought him a few bottles of really good red wine for the occasion. I was supposed to meet him at 17:00 after work but then he had a conference to attend until 21:00, he is a medical doctor and I understand and respect their responibilities. I agreed to meet him at 21:30 at his place but then my mom got sick and because she lives with me its my responsibility to take care of her. I immediately left a message on his mobile explaining the situation and ask if I could see him teh following day.

His response were quite a shock to me when he asked me whether it was a game I was playing or whether I seriously want to get to know him better. To be quite honest even though I had a valid excuse not to see him I couldnt help but feeling that he was right and that all this is probably a game and is just holding on to it because of my ego.

I got very angry and defensive and shouted at him and told him not to contact me for the rest of the evening. All this happened last week, the following morning he sent me one last sms and I still havent heard from him.

I feel that under the circumstances I should leave it the way it is. I dont want to hurt him anymore or make him more confused.

Thank you for reading my posting

Greek
Answer 337 views
Expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Greek and thanks for the feedback.

It sounds as if you came to a realisation about yourself, which is great, and you're being very honest about it. Go easy on yourself.

I disagree that you should leave this interaction hanging because you "... don't want to hurt him anymore". It has less to with hurt and more to do with honesty and courtesy to maybe round this off with a call or a note explaining yourself.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.