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04 Sep 2007

So Scared
I want to go for blood tests, but I've got this fear, what if it's positive? What if it's negative? I just feel that at the moment I don't know and it doesn't really bother me that much, but what if I do know? Then obviously its going to haunt me. But then it also comes to mind that I cant go into a relationship without knowing cause I cant lie to the person whom I'm going in a relationship with?

I know I have to go! But I'm so scared of the out come of the test.
Answer 290 views
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Worried and thanks for this post - I think you speak for thousands of us who, for various reasons, are afraid to undergo HIV testing. Your concerns are very real - what if you test positive, what if you test negative? Exactly the reason why pre-test counselling is 100% vital - these are some of the issues that will be worked through with you.

Many people (certainly the gay community of Cape Town) have adopted a collective attitude of "...I am negative until tested positive." And then they simply don't undergo testing. The average gay man doesn't really know his HIV status and yet he claims to be negative.

Chances are you'll test negative in which case you'll be able to value your negative status more and you'll be able to invest more in protecting yourself against HIV infection in future. If, however, you do test positive at least you'll know your status and you'll be able to commence looking after yourself in an appropriate manner by making a few simple life-style changes. And you'll also be wary of infecting someone else.

Your HIV status shouldn't impact on your ability to enter an eduring and loving relationship; in contrast, you can't enter into a relationship in a state of denial or even worse, deception.

PLEASE go for the test - we're here for you and we'll still be here for you irrespective of whether you test negative or positive. Statistically you're far more likely to test negative and just think of the sense of relief you'll experieince. I think you're way too anxious about this.

Insist on pre-test counselling and remember that you can opt out of having the test at any time, even after the pre-test counselling.

I'm hoping that we'll keep hearing from you Worried.
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