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03 Sep 2007

Spending time with the family
Hi All,

Apologies for not posting that often, I am so busy with work but I have been on and off reading quite a few posts in teh interim.

Deeve, I am always looking for your posts and responses, always making sure that my favourites are still here :-)

Everything is going great between my boyfriend and myself. So no real complaints from my side.

Yesterday we had a family lunch at mom's lace with my sister and brother and their spouses and children. It was the first time that everyone got together in the same room with me and my boyfriend.

I think I am going about the wrong way telling my mom exactly what I think she already knows. She enjoys the company of my boyfriend very much as they are basically from the same generation, my mother is just four years older than him.

It is impossible not for my mother to know about my boyfriend i being a couple as she is well aware that I am gay as I told her myself many years ago. I can still picture how she collapses on the kitchen floor and it stays in my head everytime I wanna tell her that the guy she is getting along so well is actually my life partner and the love of my life.

I would like to know whether it is necessary to spell it out to her, bearing in mind that she is fully aware of my sexuality.

Thanks for reading my posting.


Answer 298 views
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi again Greek and thanks for this post.

You have already come out to your mom and it seems as if she got over the initial shock. I think she knows who your partner is in your life. You have options: you could chat to her about this and tell her how you feel about him, and allow her to comment, or you could keep quiet but continue to take him along to family functions as your partner.

I'm more for being open and upfront about issues - it somehow makes things easier in the long run. I bet you don't need to spell it out to her but it could be useful to actually give the relationship a sense of structure by assigning words to it. Such as "partner". That way your mom, and everyone else, will know exactly who he is in the extended family structure. And they'll know how to respond to him.

Your mom was fine with him - but how did your partner experience all of this?
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