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16 Jan 2006

Adjustment Problems
Dear Doc,

Please assist. My daughter, who will be 2 years in the next 3 weeks, has lived with my mum for the past 8 months. Due to unforeseen circumstances, we had to leave my daughter with me mum. She lives in another city, so we only got to see our daughter at the end of every month.

Two weeks ago, we brought my daughter back home. I returned to work today, and my daughter has to go to creche. She started last Wednesdya, for half a day. Today it is from 8am to 5pm.

It was so distressing to see her cry this morning. She just clung onto me. Am I harming my child, by firstly taking her from my mum & now putting her in creche? Will she adjust? I am so stressed over this. I have family that keep telling me that I am causing her harm. Rather than leaving her to grow with my mum, where she is happy, I have taken her back & I am putting her in creche. I have been told that I am going to make my child very ill.

Doc, please assist. This is my first child, so I am very stressed over al the things people are telling me. My daughter also refuses to eat much at creche. The nurse at creche said I should give her time & she will adjust. She is just insecure at the moment.

How can I help her adjust better? I am also afraid that she will not trust her dad & I, and she will cry to go back to my mum. My husband & I can't stay without her, and we want her to grow up with us. We've got through our hurdles, and all we want now is to focus on our family & be happy.

Please assist us & tell us if we are causing any psychological harm to our child.

One more thing. She refuses to have any meals at creche. A friend had the same problem with her child. She has told me to give my daughter some ENSURE to drink, before creche, or when she gets home. I have read the instructions & it does say that 'it is not intended for children less than 4 years. My friend tells me that her pharmacist said it was okay to give to her 2 year old, until she adjusts to creche & starts eating normally.

Can I give my daughter a little ENSURE in the morning? Or can you recommend something else for her.

Thank you!
Answer 341 views
Expert
childhood diseases
paediatrician

01 Jan 0001

This is a very vulnerable age for yoy daughter and she is going to react very badly to all the sudden changes in her life. She needs lots of love and understanding and will gradually settle down.
Dont give her Ensure as she will eventually start taking her meals once she knows that you will definitely come for her every aftenoon after work.She must be made to feel very secure at home and it is going to take her a while to get over her longing for your mother.
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