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21 Jan 2009

5th miscarriage and are so sad
I suffered my 5th miscarriage last week wednesday at 18weeks. My husband and I are devasted because it just seemed that everyhting is going well. The problem with the 4 previous miscarriage was corrected last year so with the pregnancy the doc did not forsee any problems but had a incompetant cervix and I did not know. We don' t know how to move pass the sadness. We still cry everyday and he has trouble concentrating at work. We still have the sonar photo' s but we can' t tore it up an throw it away. What should we do. We feeling frustrated and sad. Because we did not do anything " wrong"  during the pregnancy. Even abstain from sex.. (Which was a huge sacrifice for us)
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Obviously there's a large psycholiogical dimension here, in your grief, which deserves and would be helped by counselling. And dealing with the grief would probably help with the next pregnancy. Yes indeed, you did nothing "wrong" but some bad things happen to very good people who do nothing "wrong". But if there is a degree of cervical incompetency, there are more ways of helping that. It will happen, if it is meant to happen--- and you would obviously be a great mother. DO think about alternatives, including adoption, so your love will get the chance to be used.
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