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29 Nov 2005
7 reasons not to mess with a child
> 7 reasons not to mess with a child
> A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.
> The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
> a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
> very small.
> The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
> Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
> human; it was physically impossible.
> The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
> The teacher: asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
> The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
> A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while
> they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
> child's work.
> As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
> what the drawing was.
> The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
> The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
> Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl:
> replied, "They will in a minute."
> A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
> five and six year olds.
> After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother,
> she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
> brothers and sisters?"
> Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family)
> answered, "Thou shall not kill."
> One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
> dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
> She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of
> your hairs white, Mom?"
> Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
> make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
> The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
> said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
> The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
> persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
> "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown
> up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's
> a doctor.'
> A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
> teacher, She's dead. "
> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
> to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
> the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
> "Yes," the class said.
> "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
> position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
> A little fellow shouted,
> "Cause your feet ain't empty."
> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
> school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
> The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
> "Take only ONE. God is watching."
> Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was
> a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
> A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
> It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if
> it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.
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