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Best decision ever
Dear Doc. Today I took an emotional stand against my alcoholic husband. For years I had to endure the reverse phycology of a person who did not want to admit that he has a drinking problem. Years of counselling and I finally see that I am not the problem. Years of feeling insecure and seeking on how can I make him stop drinking to finally realize that I am not the problem. Years on being suicidal and I finally saw the light. Today I took my power back and I finally realize this is not the life that I want. For him to acknowledge that he has a problem I need to let him go. I will no longer be a held captive in a marriage that were doomed from the very start. I cannot change him and it is not my job to do so. I really hope someone somewhere read this letter and also make a choice the way I did. Many thanks
Dear LW : hearty congratulations on your liberation ! And to whoever may have helped you to reach these insights and decisions. Alcoholics so routinely deny that they have any alcohol problem, that it's almost a criterion for making the diagnosis. And they do tend so much to blame others for any of the errors they make in their lives. People do not cause others to become alcoholic or to drink excessively : those are choices made entirely by the drinking individual themselves. Lord knows I have met some hugely tedious and troublesome people in my life, but none have managed to drive me to drink!
Anyone who was really good at making other people drink heavily would be hired at high salaries by the Booze industry.
It's sad that so many nice and decent people like you accept the invitation to blame themselves for someone else's foolish choices and behaviours. And nobody can change the drinker except him himself. Now enjoy your freedom from guilt and blame, and concentrate on making for yourself the happy life you have always deserved. Let him sort himself out, with appropriate expert advice.
And thank you so much for posting such a hopeful and helpful message which I am sure will benefit many others.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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