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14 Feb 2013

Accusations
My bf accuses me of having affairs every 2nd month. The worst part of it is that he accuses me with people close to both of us, e.g my daughter''s bf and then he pretends to be close buddies with said person. I believe that people in commited relationships should be sincere and honest with each other, but where he''s from his previous relationship was filled with infidelities, lies, deceit and manipulation. I have been through a lot in the past few years, had my ex husband commit suicide, been retrenched, had to find myself again in a new way and then I get stuck with having to deal with this BS all the time. I find it demeaning that he would think this of me, I sure as hell gave him no reason, but he just gets so adamant! We constantly fight, break up, get back together and he seems to get a thrill out of it while I think it''s immature. His ex has a lot of emotional influence over him and he listens to the BS that she tells him about me. I am just so tired of all this, but I do love him and wish he could sort his issues.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

OK, so maybe he has drown the wrong conclusions from his previous experiences of a bad relationship - he has perhaps concluded that ALL women cheat, lie, and manipulate, rather than more correctly concluding that SOME do, just as SOME men do. Either he needs to agree to sincerely join you in mariage / couples counselling, and try to fix this excessive lack of trust and consideration for you, or you need to consider a planned and safe exit. Yes, he's being immature, and maybe enjoys the break-up and the make-up, but that's unnecessary drama. And he's clearly not finished with his ex, or he wouldn't even be chating to her, let alone allowing her to maliciously meddle in your relationship with him. On the whole, he's really unlikely to change, so look for the exit
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